革命者
15th July 2003, 21:57
A column:
In the aftermath of our war on Iraq, American forces took a multitude of enemy prisoners. And with a multitude of prisoners comes a multitude of opportunities to gather intelligence: about the whereabouts of Saddam Hussein, the location of those elusive weapons of mass destruction, and what happened to the billion or so bucks that disappeared when Saddam’s son backed a tractor trailer up to the Central Bank in Baghdad and filled it with cash.
But what do you do if the little buggers won’t talk? What kinds of psychological pressures are permissible, even considering the harsher post-9/11 sensibilities of Americans? Well, the ingenious men and women of America’s armed forces have come up with a fiendish solution: our music.
According to a recent article in Newsweek, experts in what’s called "psyops" (psychological operations) are "breaking Saddam supporters with long sessions in which they’re forced to listen to heavy-metal and children’s songs." Among the weapons in the arsenal of musical coercion are "Enter Sandman" by hard-rock superstars Metallica and—horror of horrors—the theme song from the "Barney the Dinosaur" show.
Now, while I’m actually rather fond of Metallica, it seems that that’s just because I’m used to it. "These people have never heard heavy metal before," explained one psyops trooper in the Newsweek article. "They can’t take it."
The use of American pop music in psychological warfare dates back at least to the 1989 invasion of Panama. You may remember that dictator Manuel Noriega, while on the lam from American troops, sought refuge in the Vatican mission in Panama City. When the padres refused to hand Noriega over, our boys shrugged, broke out the heavy-duty stereo equipment, and cranked up the jams. Selections included Jimi Hendrix’ bad-ass anthem "Voodoo Chile", Linda Ronstadt’s grating complaint "You’re No Good", and the Bobby Fuller Four’s cautionary tale "I Fought the Law (and the Law Won"). It wasn’t long before Noriega (reportedly a fan of opera) cracked and gave himself up.
Even dating back into the mists of history, loud, annoying music has been used as a tool of military intimidation. How else do you explain the bagpipes? It wasn’t Mel Gibson and a lot of hairy guys painted blue that drove the British out of Scotland; it was that shrill bleating of the Scots’ national instrument. The story, however, that England’s Henry V broke the resistance of the French City of Harfleur by leading the besiegers in an all-night rendition of "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" is not regarded as historically accurate.
But the use of music in interrogation of prisoners is apparently a new wrinkle. And when you can get up close and personal with the music, rather than blasting it from long distance, you can get fiendishly creative (at least more creative than the people who wrote some of this dreck.) Thus, the Barney theme. I have to say, however, I’m a little worried that subjecting someone to non-stop repetition of that ghastly "I love you, you love me…" ditty is going to land some poor grunt before a war-crimes tribunal in the Hague. Still, this is war. It gets ugly sometimes.
America is second to none in the lethal efficiency and power of our weapons, and our musical ones are no exception. Frankly, I think if we showed the world’s bad guys exactly what kind of music they might have to face if they got into a confrontation with America, the world would be a much more peaceful place.
Let tyrants tremble before the sheer awfulness of the Captain and Tenille’s "Muskrat Love"! Let them quake at the thought of having the entire Cher catalogue unleashed against them, up to and including "Believe in Life after Love"! Let the enemies of freedom make no mistake: somewhere, buried deep in the god-I -can’t-believe-I-bought-that sections of a million record collections, back where no weapons inspectors can find them, there are copies of "Achy Breaky Heart"! We have them! And we’re not afraid to use them!
You terrorists think you’ve cornered the market on insanity? We not only let William Shatner sing, we let him sing "Mister Tambourine Man"! We’re crazy, I tell you! Crazy!
Still feel lucky, punks? I’m telling you, don’t push us! All of the members of Styx are still alive, and they probably still remember how to play both "Lady" and "Mister Roboto!"
And it can get worse. Oh, you have no idea how much worse it can get. Don’t forget, we have the British on our side. Do you really think you can stand up to the terror weapon that is "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls?
William Tecumseh Sherman said, "War is all Hell". And he never had Top 40 radio. But we do. The bad characters of the world should think twice before messing with us, or they may wind up in a room with nothing but a pair of speakers and Richard Harris’ version of "McArthur Park" to keep them company.
Be afraid, bad guys. Be very afraid.
In the aftermath of our war on Iraq, American forces took a multitude of enemy prisoners. And with a multitude of prisoners comes a multitude of opportunities to gather intelligence: about the whereabouts of Saddam Hussein, the location of those elusive weapons of mass destruction, and what happened to the billion or so bucks that disappeared when Saddam’s son backed a tractor trailer up to the Central Bank in Baghdad and filled it with cash.
But what do you do if the little buggers won’t talk? What kinds of psychological pressures are permissible, even considering the harsher post-9/11 sensibilities of Americans? Well, the ingenious men and women of America’s armed forces have come up with a fiendish solution: our music.
According to a recent article in Newsweek, experts in what’s called "psyops" (psychological operations) are "breaking Saddam supporters with long sessions in which they’re forced to listen to heavy-metal and children’s songs." Among the weapons in the arsenal of musical coercion are "Enter Sandman" by hard-rock superstars Metallica and—horror of horrors—the theme song from the "Barney the Dinosaur" show.
Now, while I’m actually rather fond of Metallica, it seems that that’s just because I’m used to it. "These people have never heard heavy metal before," explained one psyops trooper in the Newsweek article. "They can’t take it."
The use of American pop music in psychological warfare dates back at least to the 1989 invasion of Panama. You may remember that dictator Manuel Noriega, while on the lam from American troops, sought refuge in the Vatican mission in Panama City. When the padres refused to hand Noriega over, our boys shrugged, broke out the heavy-duty stereo equipment, and cranked up the jams. Selections included Jimi Hendrix’ bad-ass anthem "Voodoo Chile", Linda Ronstadt’s grating complaint "You’re No Good", and the Bobby Fuller Four’s cautionary tale "I Fought the Law (and the Law Won"). It wasn’t long before Noriega (reportedly a fan of opera) cracked and gave himself up.
Even dating back into the mists of history, loud, annoying music has been used as a tool of military intimidation. How else do you explain the bagpipes? It wasn’t Mel Gibson and a lot of hairy guys painted blue that drove the British out of Scotland; it was that shrill bleating of the Scots’ national instrument. The story, however, that England’s Henry V broke the resistance of the French City of Harfleur by leading the besiegers in an all-night rendition of "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" is not regarded as historically accurate.
But the use of music in interrogation of prisoners is apparently a new wrinkle. And when you can get up close and personal with the music, rather than blasting it from long distance, you can get fiendishly creative (at least more creative than the people who wrote some of this dreck.) Thus, the Barney theme. I have to say, however, I’m a little worried that subjecting someone to non-stop repetition of that ghastly "I love you, you love me…" ditty is going to land some poor grunt before a war-crimes tribunal in the Hague. Still, this is war. It gets ugly sometimes.
America is second to none in the lethal efficiency and power of our weapons, and our musical ones are no exception. Frankly, I think if we showed the world’s bad guys exactly what kind of music they might have to face if they got into a confrontation with America, the world would be a much more peaceful place.
Let tyrants tremble before the sheer awfulness of the Captain and Tenille’s "Muskrat Love"! Let them quake at the thought of having the entire Cher catalogue unleashed against them, up to and including "Believe in Life after Love"! Let the enemies of freedom make no mistake: somewhere, buried deep in the god-I -can’t-believe-I-bought-that sections of a million record collections, back where no weapons inspectors can find them, there are copies of "Achy Breaky Heart"! We have them! And we’re not afraid to use them!
You terrorists think you’ve cornered the market on insanity? We not only let William Shatner sing, we let him sing "Mister Tambourine Man"! We’re crazy, I tell you! Crazy!
Still feel lucky, punks? I’m telling you, don’t push us! All of the members of Styx are still alive, and they probably still remember how to play both "Lady" and "Mister Roboto!"
And it can get worse. Oh, you have no idea how much worse it can get. Don’t forget, we have the British on our side. Do you really think you can stand up to the terror weapon that is "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls?
William Tecumseh Sherman said, "War is all Hell". And he never had Top 40 radio. But we do. The bad characters of the world should think twice before messing with us, or they may wind up in a room with nothing but a pair of speakers and Richard Harris’ version of "McArthur Park" to keep them company.
Be afraid, bad guys. Be very afraid.