10 rules of a wannabe intellectual

[NecroCommie]

So, you wann be intellectual? Don't worry, the modern youth has found a way to be an intellectual without much work. Just follow the ten rules written below, and the classmates are sure to bask in your intellectual superiority.

1. Read a book of Dostojevski

2. If inquired about a book of Dostojevski that you have not read (shame on you), then act as if you had actually read it.

3. Read Platos republic, and support it frantically. Ignore completely the fact that it is elitist bullshit, and stopped being progressive during the iron age.

4. Try to be "original". This is easily achieved by listening to an obscure genre of music no one else listenes. Progressive rock or opera are good genres for this purpose.

5. If someone does not agree with your music taste, accuse them of lacking artistic sense.

6. Be atheist.

7. Support capitalism frantically, and claim it promotes economic freedom.

8. Everytime someone tries to talk about something new and interesting, make very sure that everyone knows you think it is ooooooold.

9. The last rule applies even if you have just learned it yesterday yourself.

10. If anyone under any circumstances question the previous rules, accuse them of lacking the intellectual basis to say such things.


This is by no means to insult anyone, just some clear trends I noticed when thinking about my high-school wanna be intellectuals. Not all are meant to be negative features in any way, albeit some of them are. Just neutral observations of this vague group of people.

If you know the type, feel free to add things you have noticed. Perhaps we can grow this into 101. rules of wanna be intellectuals.

For example, as I understand Ron Paul was supposed to be somehow neutral and intellectual choice for this type during the U.S. elections. Correct me if I'm wrong.

[Pirate turtle the 11th]

http://www.kloonigames.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/03/moo_shot_03.jpg

[hugsandmarxism]

3. Read Platos republic, and support it frantically. Ignore completely the fact that it is elitist bullshit, and stopped being progressive during the iron age.

Oh Jesus, I had some asshole on Omegle trying to push that crap on me. Plato's idea of the perfect government was pretty damn fascistic, and the virtue ethics at the level of the person and the social ethic brings the whole mess into contradiction. But yeah, good list :thumbup1:

[NecroCommie]

http://www.kloonigames.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/03/moo_shot_03.jpg
I resent that. If I have ever made claims of intellectual superiority, they have been to lighten up the mood with a ridiculous claim.

[Module]

Damn it, I am not a wannabe intellectual. But three (two and a half) of these could technically be applied to me. I feel wronged by the fact such things are on the list.

[Sean]

1 and 5 apply to lots of non-posers, 7 suggests that psuedointellectualism is exclusively a cappie affair. It most certainly is not.

11. Declare yourself a nihilist based solely on Neitzche quotes you found on the internet.
12. Jam said quotes into every conversation you possibly can. When asked about every other philosopher you have never read (including the aforementioned) dodge the point with "I have my own philosophy". Describe it using #11.

[Angry Young Man]

That list makes me feel better because i was always worried that I was a wannabe intellectual and yet I exhibit none of these traits. Especially considering how far philosophy has evolved since the C5th BC.

BTW if you're hoping to extend it to a 101, my contribution is the rule of reading Vice. wankers
ED: ooh, and the Independent - sort of like a liberal counter to the Mail, or the Guardian for thick people.

[Raúl Duke]

So, you wann be intellectual? Don't worry, the modern youth has found a way to be an intellectual without much work. Just follow the ten rules written below, and the classmates are sure to bask in your intellectual superiority.

1. Read a book of Dostojevski

2. If inquired about a book of Dostojevski that you have not read (shame on you), then act as if you had actually read it.

3. Read Platos republic, and support it frantically. Ignore completely the fact that it is elitist bullshit, and stopped being progressive during the iron age.

4. Try to be "original". This is easily achieved by listening to an obscure genre of music no one else listenes. Progressive rock or opera are good genres for this purpose.

5. If someone does not agree with your music taste, accuse them of lacking artistic sense.

5. Be atheist.

7. Support capitalism frantically, and claim it promotes economic freedom.

8. Everytime someone tries to talk about something new and interesting, make very sure that everyone knows you think it is ooooooold.

9. The last rule applies even if you have just learned it yesterday yourself.

10. If anyone under any circumstances question the previous rules, accuse them of lacking the intellectual basis to say such things.


This is by no means to insult anyone, just some clear trends I noticed when thinking about my high-school wanna be intellectuals. Not all are meant to be negative features in any way, albeit some of them are. Just neutral observations of this vague group of people.

If you know the type, feel free to add things you have noticed. Perhaps we can grow this into 101. rules of wanna be intellectuals.

For example, as I understand Ron Paul was supposed to be somehow neutral and intellectual choice for this type during the U.S. elections. Correct me if I'm wrong.

:lol::lol::lol:

The 1st 3 are correct under my experience (in high school and possibly also college.), the 7th one is correct in college (but not when I was in high school, they tended to be apolitical or to support a government that would meet to a degree Plato's idea of a good government, i.e. they tended to be totalitarian), the 5th one is in my experience "be an agnostic" (at least in high school, in my college they still tend to be religious; but this perhaps has to do with regional differences...).

Looks like I'm not alone...I made a similar observations (and others) and had a possibly similar disdain on the same group of people (I guess) like 2-3 years ago.

Also wanna-be intellectuals just learn a few quotes out of "known" philosophers like Descartes, Plato, Nietszche, etc and just regurgitate these quotes or whatever they read without any real understanding of what they just said yet as they do this act smugly like if they're dropping "some profound knowledge" in your head.

[Sam_b]

1. Read a book of Dostojevski

If you want to be an intellectual, it probably helps if you spell his name right.

[Angry Young Man]

He was taking the piss you obnoxious prick! Jesus what a thing to pull up. Fucking SWPers! I've seen it spelt 2 or 3 ways. Why don't you just tell him to write it in Cyrillic? Knobhead.

[Sean]

He was taking the piss you obnoxious prick! Jesus what a thing to pull up. Fucking SWPers! I've seen it spelt 2 or 3 ways. Why don't you just tell him to write it in Cyrillic? Knobhead.
If this wasn't such a lighthearted thread I'd class that as flaming. Knock it off.

[amandevsingh]

There are two '5's on your list, Comrade. :laugh:

Give us a rule if you do something like this. :p

[ZeroNowhere]

A shorter version:

1) Be John Holloway.

[NecroCommie]

Damn it, I am not a wannabe intellectual. But three (two and a half) of these could technically be applied to me. I feel wronged by the fact such things are on the list.
It is not a list of negative things these people do. It is just a list of what those people do. And very generic at that even.

I myself am an atheist that likes progressive rock, and I have read several books of Dostojevski. (no I dont even make an effort on spelling him correctly :cool:)

[Sam_b]

Why don't you just tell him to write it in Cyrillic? Knobhead

Because of my studies I tend to write it in cyrillic, actually.
Does that piss you off even more? I hope so. филистимлянин.

[NecroCommie]

There are two '5's on your list, Comrade. :laugh:

Give us a rule if you do something like this. :p

http://www.livedispatch.org/facepalm.jpg

This is actually the second time I do that same mistake today...

[Raúl Duke]

If you want to be an intellectual, it probably helps if you spell his name right.

He's from Finland...perhaps it's spell that way there..?

In the Spanish-speaking countries, I think, Dostoevsky (or Dostoyevsky) is spelled differently then in English (which also has more the one way to write his name).

The reason for this is because the actual man himself, being Russian wrote his book (and his name) mostly in Cyrillic (not in Latin characters) and thus when it becomes transliterated into Latin letters it's usually done in different ways depending on the language.

[Sam_b]

Translation: English » Finnishdostoevsky Dostojevski


Well fuck me sideways.

[NecroCommie]

Let us settle this once and for all!
I will now dig up my finnish copy of the "White nights". Is that even the name in english?

"goes to the bookshelf"

A-HA!! Fedor Dostojevski. Quarrel settled.

[Sam_b]

1. See the post above.

2.




FinnishFyodor Dostoevsky
Fjodor Dostojevski





A HA!

[NecroCommie]

What! Where did you get that!?
This copy clearly says Fedor! I'm looking at it now!

[Communist Theory]

Gotta love Sam's snide comments...

[Angry Young Man]

Yea it reminds us of what the SWP is actually for.

[scarletghoul]

i agree with every post in this thread

[Angry Young Man]

Even the one where I was accused of flaming. I think that's rampant homophobia!

[redSHARP]

try to say ciao at sometimes, and play acoustic guitar. but tries too hard to be like bob Dylan and fails, but when challenged, they say they are being original with covers.

that should be on the list

[Raúl Duke]

try to say ciao at sometimes, and play acoustic guitar. but tries too hard to be like bob Dylan and fails, but when challenged, they say they are being original with covers.

that should be on the list

The ones I meet never said ciao (although if they did they possibly wouldn't know that it's both a farewell and a greeting)...

But I did meet some who played the guitar but one in particular once said "I love philosophy" and when I asked whether he knew what "a priori" and "post-priori" meant he really didn't...how can you love philosophy if you don't even know some of its basic terms (or anything about it at all)?

Even I know the terms and I think I hate philosophy (or perhaps...dialectics! :p ), it just seems to be mostly a priori made-up nonsense to me.

[fiddlesticks]

ahah, how amusing :D

[Il Medico]

#13. Have a brown messenger bag and ride a scooter to school/work.

[Sean]

#14 argue about the spelling of #1 on the internet.

[Il Medico]

:laugh:
#14 argue about the spelling of #1 on the internet.:laugh:

:lol:

[Angry Young Man]

#14 argue about the spelling of #1 on the internet.

Best post of the thread.

Anyhow, I never came across a post priori. That just means 'after before'. I've come across a posteriori, as in knowledge post experience. Sorry, I just sounded like a smartarse there, didn't I? :D

[Raúl Duke]

Best post of the thread.

Anyhow, I never came across a post priori. That just means 'after before'. I've come across a posteriori, as in knowledge post experience. Sorry, I just sounded like a smartarse there, didn't I? :D

yes you did, we're sending you to teh re-education camps now. :P

But you are right; even I don't even know how to write it correctly but at least I don't claim to "love philosophy" and not know anything except some quotes from Nietszche.

[Angry Young Man]

Before you send me to a re-education camp, you might want to send yourself to an education camp. OOooohhhh! Psychokiller, beard of flame!

[Raúl Duke]

Before you send me to a re-education camp, you might want to send yourself to an education camp. OOooohhhh! Psychokiller, beard of flame!

education in philosophy is a bourgeois decadence!
;)

[Il Medico]

education in philosophy is a bourgeois decadence!
;)
OMG!!!!:scared::scared::scared:
The Philosophy forum is bourgeois!!!!:laugh:

[GracchusBabeuf]

ReLeft is bourgeois decadent!!!!!!!!!!!!;)

[*Viva La Revolucion*]

1 and 6 = done! Dostoyevsky is wonderful, atheism is too. Plato's republic is less wonderful. A lot less wonderful...

I resent Angry Young Man's stance on The Independent. Surely being a liberal counter to the Mail is a good enough reason for it to be respected. I love the Indy. :wub:

[Jazzratt]

4. Try to be "original". This is easily achieved by listening to an obscure genre of music no one else listenes. Progressive rock or opera are good genres for this purpose.

I resent the idea implicit in this that fairly normal people don't listen to prog rock.

[Angry Young Man]

1 and 6 = done! Dostoyevsky is wonderful, atheism is too. Plato's republic is less wonderful. A lot less wonderful...

I resent Angry Young Man's stance on The Independent. Surely being a liberal counter to the Mail is a good enough reason for it to be respected. I love the Indy. :wub:

I meant it's on the same level as the Mail.

[*Viva La Revolucion*]

Noooo! How dare you! :lol: It's great. It's like the Guardian, but for when you have a headache.

'Guardian-lite' according to my mum.

What do you read?

[Angry Young Man]

The Guardian, but only every so often, mostly Saturdays and just for Charlie Brooker. And I agree, given that permanent brain damage will tend to hurt.

[*Viva La Revolucion*]

Oh well, hopefully by the time I'm twenty it'll be beyond repair and won't even hurt anymore. Now I'm just off the read...

...what was it called again? My memory is getting worse and worse...

[shadowmare]

Er... I'm an Atheist but that doesn't make me a wannabe intellectual:huh:

[NecroCommie]

No... Unless you want to.
Over here these wanna be intellectuals are atheists, but it does not mean that atheists are wanna be intellectuals.

[Bilan]

So, you wann be intellectual? Don't worry, the modern youth has found a way to be an intellectual without much work. Just follow the ten rules written below, and the classmates are sure to bask in your intellectual superiority.

1. Read a book of Dostojevski

I'm reading Crime and Punishment, and I'm quite fond of his short stories.



2. If inquired about a book of Dostojevski that you have not read (shame on you), then act as if you had actually read it.

That wouldn't make you a pseudo-intellectual, but a liar.



4. Try to be "original". This is easily achieved by listening to an obscure genre of music no one else listenes. Progressive rock or opera are good genres for this purpose.

That makes me want to hit you in the face for being so, so stupid.



This is by no means to insult anyone, just some clear trends I noticed when thinking about my high-school wanna be intellectuals. Not all are meant to be negative features in any way, albeit some of them are. Just neutral observations of this vague group of people.

They are insults, and they're also stupid, and I'm slightly irritated after reading it.

[Trystan]

1 and 5 apply to lots of non-posers, 7 suggests that psuedointellectualism is exclusively a cappie affair. It most certainly is not.

11. Declare yourself a nihilist based solely on Neitzche quotes you found on the internet.
12. Jam said quotes into every conversation you possibly can. When asked about every other philosopher you have never read (including the aforementioned) dodge the point with "I have my own philosophy". Describe it using #11.


Holy shit, I've met this guy. :lol: You describe him perfectly . . .

[NecroCommie]

I'm reading Crime and Punishment, and I'm quite fond of his short stories.



That wouldn't make you a pseudo-intellectual, but a liar.



That makes me want to hit you in the face for being so, so stupid.



They are insults, and they're also stupid, and I'm slightly irritated after reading it.
Oh come on have some sense of humour! :tt2: If they are insults then I would be insulting myself on several instances.

[Bilan]

Humour is bourgeois!

[*Viva La Revolucion*]

No. You're thinking of humous.

[More Fire for the People]

4. Try to be "original". This is easily achieved by listening to an obscure genre of music no one else listenes. Progressive rock or opera are good genres for this purpose.



Epic gold mine.

[Comrade B]

I am a rectangle, but I am not a square

Lots of people are atheists, lots of people like progressive rock, lots of people have one of these things and are not wanna be intellectuals, some of them are douches, some of them are normal people.

Also you forgot using the word apropos (not sure if that is how it is spelled, because I avoid it even in its correct usage as much as possible) when you mean appropriate
also searching for deep meaning in stupid movies... really really stupid movies, like Da-Vinci-Code-stupid

[narcomprom]

1. Read a book of Dostojevski

2. If inquired about a book of Dostojevski that you have not read (shame on you), then act as if you had actually read it.
Truth! just replace Dostojevski with any foreign big name author who is not part of your school's curriculum because, believe me, it's totally uncool to discuss Dostojevski when everyone read him.


3. Read Platos republic, and support it frantically. Ignore completely the fact that it is elitist bullshit, and stopped being progressive during the iron age.Truth indeed! I can't count how many times I've heared people advocate banning the poets under the rule of philosopher-kings, but I guess this is done rather in jest.


4. Try to be "original". This is easily achieved by listening to an obscure genre of music no one else listenes. Progressive rock or opera are good genres for this purpose. I can't believe it works the same way in Finland! Indeed I heard people advocate things totally out of synch with anything discussed in the parliament or anything of relevance to any major political philosophy or of relevence to anything at all just to cry out loud: "Look at me I'm intellectual, I produce original thoughts!"

One guy wanted to introduce wisdom lessons :crying: by elderly people picked randomly from the streets.


5. If someone does not agree with your music taste, accuse them of lacking artistic sense.Well, that's how you discuss art. You express a taste and advocate it. The very same way it works in the adult world, but there it isn't done so bluntly.


6. Be atheist.No: be whatever you want, but tell everyone you're atheist: "How progressive I am! I'm an atheist! That's highly original and new! I read Dawkins and now think the bible is not logical! No that it was of relevance, but now let me count the logical fallacies I know..."


7. Support capitalism frantically, and claim it promotes economic freedom.
that's because people you identified as "wanna-be intellectuals" are normally snobbish upper-class kids with too much time on their hands. The private schools are chock full of such irritating people with imeasurable egos.

[narcomprom]

Excuse my doublepost but I can't stand snobbism

If you want to be an intellectual, it probably helps if you spell his name right.
How right? Right as "ДОСТОЕВСКИЙ" or how else do you want to spell it right?

edit: ah! I seenow that was superfluous.

[RHIZOMES]

So, you wann be intellectual? Don't worry, the modern youth has found a way to be an intellectual without much work. Just follow the ten rules written below, and the classmates are sure to bask in your intellectual superiority.

1. Read a book of Dostojevski

2. If inquired about a book of Dostojevski that you have not read (shame on you), then act as if you had actually read it.

3. Read Platos republic, and support it frantically. Ignore completely the fact that it is elitist bullshit, and stopped being progressive during the iron age.

4. Try to be "original". This is easily achieved by listening to an obscure genre of music no one else listenes. Progressive rock or opera are good genres for this purpose.

5. If someone does not agree with your music taste, accuse them of lacking artistic sense.

6. Be atheist.

7. Support capitalism frantically, and claim it promotes economic freedom.

8. Everytime someone tries to talk about something new and interesting, make very sure that everyone knows you think it is ooooooold.

9. The last rule applies even if you have just learned it yesterday yourself.

10. If anyone under any circumstances question the previous rules, accuse them of lacking the intellectual basis to say such things.


This is by no means to insult anyone, just some clear trends I noticed when thinking about my high-school wanna be intellectuals. Not all are meant to be negative features in any way, albeit some of them are. Just neutral observations of this vague group of people.

If you know the type, feel free to add things you have noticed. Perhaps we can grow this into 101. rules of wanna be intellectuals.

For example, as I understand Ron Paul was supposed to be somehow neutral and intellectual choice for this type during the U.S. elections. Correct me if I'm wrong.

I know so many tools like this at University

I actually know people that fit all 10


They are insults, and they're also stupid, and I'm slightly irritated after reading it.

You are the most trendy person I've ever come into e-contact with of course you'd be mad

[Raúl Duke]

You are the most trendy person I've ever come into e-contact with of course you'd be mad

I don't know why, but I feel I would rep you for this if I could.

[Blake's Baby]

...

One guy wanted to introduce wisdom lessons :crying: by elderly people picked randomly from the streets...

That's genius. A philosophical lottery. Even the Athenians never thought of that one.

[☭World Views]

To dismiss any argument as a wannabe intellectual, say "I reject your premise" and aggressively walk away.

[☭World Views]

Use the "might makes right" argument, but then don't be surprised when a rev leftist punches you in the face and grabs a gun or something sharp.

[Bilan]

You are the most trendy person I've ever come into e-contact with of course you'd be mad

Not really. I just read more than Lenin because I am not a dense, wannabe 20th Century revolutionary. I enjoy art. I'm not overly concerned if a few so-called revolutionaries get their knickers twisted at people reading something that is not political theory.
But this is targetting "wannbee" intellectuals, as opposed to people who are "trendy", so me being bothered by this inane list hardly makes sense. Or are "wannbee intellectuals" the same as people who are "trendy", and is this merely a synonym for people-you-don't-like, or people-who-read-more-than-comics-and-Mao?

Also, most trendy person? Seriously? You have a facebook, for heavens sake, and if I am the most trendy person you've come into "e-contant" with, then you either don't know how to use it, or you don't understand what "trendy" means. I presume both.


I don't know why, but I feel I would rep you for this if I could.

Circle Jerks of stupidity aren't exactly a pleasing spectacle. Keep that in mind.


That's genius. A philosophical lottery. Even the Athenians never thought of that one.

They kind of did actually:



Selection by lottery was the standard means as it was regarded as the more democratic: elections would favour those who were rich, noble, eloquent and well-known, while allotment (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sortition) spread the work of administration throughout the whole citizen body, engaging them in the crucial democratic experience of, to use Aristotle's words, "ruling and being ruled in turn" (Politics 1317b28–30). The allotment of an individual was based on citizenship rather than merit or any form of personal popularity which could be bought. Allotment therefore was seen as a means to prevent the corrupt purchase of votes and it gave citizens a unique form of political equality as all had an equal chance of obtaining government office.


Wiki article. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Athenian_democracy#Officeholders)

[NecroCommie]

That's genius. A philosophical lottery. Even the Athenians never thought of that one.
With the key word being "even". Agreed.

[Killfacer]

. Agreed.

Pardon?

[NecroCommie]

Pardon?
yes please.

[Killfacer]

:glare: