Dooga Aetrus Blackrazor
3rd May 2009, 18:12
If I'm not responding to posts, it's because I'm busy dealing with real life. I have depression. My life involves some pretty good circumstances. I have family support, financial support, etc.
When I attempt tasks that I dislike, such as doing laundry, studying boring material, working, etc, my mood often suffers. Depending on how much I dislike something, this becomes more obvious. In school, my grades suffer because of this issue. However, I generally like most of my studies so my mood improves as a result.
During past summers, I've had three jobs which gave me no personal satisfaction. My parents, and myself, want me to get a job this summer. I'm not sure why I believe this, but I feel like it's unfair to contribute nothing financially to my education, upkeep, etc. However, I'm feeling that I'd rather suffer the consequences than work mindlessly at a job I hate. This makes me exert little or no effort towards finding one. Of course, my desire to "contribute something" makes me feel guilty. It's a vicious cycle where I seem to lose regardless.
I have nothing against individuals who work jobs they hate. Most people do. I envy the ability most people have to simply do tasks they hate. Maybe I shouldn't envy that ability, who knows. I'm currently investigating the possibility of making a little bit of cash blogging. I'm still unmotivated in general so it takes me awhile to start working on a task. However, the idea of blogging/writing for money appeals greatly to me, even if I have to work much longer for the same amount of money. I'm pessimistic about this idea because I am unwilling to sacrifice my ethics (write propaganda to religious nuts, etc) for this goal. There also seems to be a very low success rate in the area. However, it might be the man bringing me down, who knows.
I'm currently seeking medical help, as well as counseling. If I respond to another post, and not yours, or forget about your post, please don't take it personally. My interests change from day to day, hour to hour. Furthermore, topics that will require a more detailed response often facilitate more laziness on my part. My memory has been all over the place, as well, so I am forget things occasionally.
--> Hi
When I attempt tasks that I dislike, such as doing laundry, studying boring material, working, etc, my mood often suffers. Depending on how much I dislike something, this becomes more obvious. In school, my grades suffer because of this issue. However, I generally like most of my studies so my mood improves as a result.
During past summers, I've had three jobs which gave me no personal satisfaction. My parents, and myself, want me to get a job this summer. I'm not sure why I believe this, but I feel like it's unfair to contribute nothing financially to my education, upkeep, etc. However, I'm feeling that I'd rather suffer the consequences than work mindlessly at a job I hate. This makes me exert little or no effort towards finding one. Of course, my desire to "contribute something" makes me feel guilty. It's a vicious cycle where I seem to lose regardless.
I have nothing against individuals who work jobs they hate. Most people do. I envy the ability most people have to simply do tasks they hate. Maybe I shouldn't envy that ability, who knows. I'm currently investigating the possibility of making a little bit of cash blogging. I'm still unmotivated in general so it takes me awhile to start working on a task. However, the idea of blogging/writing for money appeals greatly to me, even if I have to work much longer for the same amount of money. I'm pessimistic about this idea because I am unwilling to sacrifice my ethics (write propaganda to religious nuts, etc) for this goal. There also seems to be a very low success rate in the area. However, it might be the man bringing me down, who knows.
I'm currently seeking medical help, as well as counseling. If I respond to another post, and not yours, or forget about your post, please don't take it personally. My interests change from day to day, hour to hour. Furthermore, topics that will require a more detailed response often facilitate more laziness on my part. My memory has been all over the place, as well, so I am forget things occasionally.
--> Hi