Gems from Christian fundamentalist forums

[GracchusBabeuf]

qO9IPoAdct8

Actors reading from those forums
:laugh::laugh::laugh:

[jake williams]

I wanna call bullshit but I don't want to be proven wrong.

[Invariance]

I wanna call bullshit but I don't want to be proven wrong. The comments are 'real' or 'legit.' They have links to the sites where they were actually made here (http://www.fstdt.com/fundies/top100.aspx?archive=1).

[jake williams]

The comments are 'real' or 'legit.' They have links to the sites where they were actually made here (http://www.fstdt.com/fundies/top100.aspx?archive=1).
Ok, but are at least some of them jokes?

[GracchusBabeuf]

Ok, but are at least some of them jokes?Nope... they're all real.

[Sean]

I am a bit troubled. I believe my son has a girlfriend, because she left a dirty magazine with men in it under his bed. My son is only 16 and I really don't think he's ready to date yet. What's worse is that he's sneaking some girl to his room behind my back. I need help, God! I want my son to stop being so secretive!
Always been my favourite quote on that list.

[Sentinel]

'Everyone knows that scientists insist on using complex terminology to make it harder for true Christians to refute their claims.'

Pure gold!

[Holden Caulfield]

Always been my favourite quote on that list.

:lol:

gotta love denial

[Pirate turtle the 11th]

http://www.fstdt.com/fundies/top100.aspx?archive=1

[Pirate turtle the 11th]

Masturbation can sometimes be wrong and it can sometimes not. If you masturbate thinking about how pretty the flowers are and how you want a puppy, essentially that's not wrong. But most times, that is not the case. I believe that when one masturbates a high percentage of the time they are fantasizing about a sexual partner therefore making masturbation lust. Lust, as the Bible states, is a sin. But masturbation is something that people in general should stay away from because it's hard not to lust whilst doing it. Ben Jamin A Foote

[StalinFanboy]

I'm pretty sure masturbation is always right. Unless it's on someone else... without their permission.

[Sean]

I'm pretty sure masturbation is always right. Unless it's on someone else... without their permission.
That was YOU? I'll know not to walk below that window in future!

[Bilan]

Rorschac, that wasn't funny. That is horrendous, and so fucking depressing.

[#FF0000]

Rorschac, that wasn't funny. That is horrendous, and so fucking depressing.

The story itself is miserable. The way it's presented by a someone so deluded is the only thing remotely funny.

[bcbm]

I think that is the most depressing part actually.

[NecroCommie]

Whats wrong with these fundies?!? Are they all as batshit crazy?

[TheCultofAbeLincoln]

I would say that they're are many delusional fundies such as those, but those are more or less harmless ignorant morons. And hilarious, too, of course.

I'm a lot more concerned with this batshit motherfucker and his minions

IWMmVIAtHAU

[gorillafuck]

This one is pretty funny until you get to the end note that says the boy eventually killed himself.
No, it was never funny, to be honest.

[#FF0000]

No, it was never funny, to be honest.

The image of someone telling somebody "Oh I love you but you are subhuman and hell bound :( " is sort of amusing. The idea of dropping a psychiatrist because modern psychology doesn't sync with one's outdated beliefs is doubly so.

I think I did seem callous though. Sorry.

[mykittyhasaboner]

[on the sunject of a Bible printing company]

Yes, that is a great company. I bought one of their large print version (old eyes... what can I say?).

The only thing I don't like about them is they sell foreign language versions of the KJB. I don't think that's right. We know the only true translation is the 1600's version in English.

It's too risky for anybody to translate that into other languages. Mistakes can creep in... and that can lead to heresy. True Christians should only read English.

:lol::lol:

[hugsandmarxism]

Rorschac, that wasn't funny. That is horrendous, and so fucking depressing.

What he said. I was hoping for a little giggle when I clicked on this thread and your little story ruined it for me. Some mod needs to take Rorschac's post and the ones in response to it and make a new thread (idk, call it "Depressing Shit" for all I care). Someone post more lolzy shit so I can feel better :(

[#FF0000]

What he said. I was hoping for a little giggle when I clicked on this thread and your little story ruined it for me. Some mod needs to take Rorschac's post and the ones in response to it and make a new thread (idk, call it "Depressing Shit" for all I care). Someone post more lolzy shit so I can feel better :(

Yech, I'll just delete it myself. Sorry, boyo. :(

[Glenn Beck]

I found Rorsch's post darkly amusing but then again I'm as jaded as he

[Glenn Beck]

FSTDT also has a section devoted to conspiracy nuts some of whom are also fundies

We are not from this planet, possibly from Mars&Nibiru???

Well, here is the proof:

main reasons why is that are

I - This planet has more intense gravity then our original
II - This planet has too fast circadian rhytm then our original
III - This planet is just too close to Sun then our original
IIII - Sun radiation is far too strong for us to survive

I First and main proof is bone breaking, if we are made for this planet there is no way we could break a bone when we fall on ice or snow, we should be able too jump higher, and not to hurt ankle. All sort od injuries we have just because gravity is too strong on this planet. There is nothing bad in feeling heavy, it is for the gravity too strong. Yes, also bone diseases and pain, spinal pain, discus hernia, that shouldn't happen if gravity is smaller.

II I bet all of you has this problem from time to time, just having to have one more hour a day, and everything would be just fine, I am sure Earth has been manipulated somehow to prolong duration of day, but it was impossible to make it longer, because all plants and animals here would suffer.

III If we look directly at the Sun we can damage eyes, that is not logical if we were adapted to this planet. Also UV rays making more damage to our eye system, in fact we all feel just right when sun is lower and during cloudy days, no kidding, all northern countries are more industrial developed. it is because of that reason, heat is good for reptilians only. (there was one movie with Charlie Sheen about that )

IV If there wasn't strong XXstrong magnetic field Sun radiation would kill us, that couldn't happen if planet is on greater distance from Sun..

There is plenty of proof, reasons why is not logical that we live on this planet, more correct we are not from here, or partially our genes are not.

[hugsandmarxism]

No, everyone is born Christian. Only later in life do people choose to stray from Jesus and worship satan instead. Atheists have the greatest "cover" of all, they insist they believe in no god yet most polls done and the latest research indicates that they are actually a different sect of Muslims.

Wow. So "most polls done" and the "latest research indicates" mean that everyone who doesn't believe in a God is some kind of Muslim...

[Stranger Than Paradise]

If u have sex before marriage then in Gods eyes u are married to that person if a man rapes a woman in Gods eyes they are married it sucks for the girl but what can we do lol

What can we do?

[Glenn Beck]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YJWdPn8iFKo

[mykittyhasaboner]

That video makes me want to reach for the cyanide.

[Rosa Lichtenstein]

One or two of these brainless quotes read uncomfortably like some of the replies I get from dialectical mystics!

[hugsandmarxism]

fsdt is a communist cesspoll of far left liberals and other satanic worshipping people who enjoy nothing more than hurting the otherwise good image of Religious people who wish nothing more than to speak the truth. You can address my points here, but submiting my ideas to that fascist website does nothing more than raise a white flag of "I surrender, because I refuse to address the content of what you said". Please, take off your fantasy helmet for just a few moments and look over what I have said.

We need to invite this charming gent to RevLeft, in order to show him what a real "communist cesspool" looks like! :laugh:

[Glenn Beck]

satanic far-left liberal communazis

are they related to the libertarian nazi green party?

[Angry Young Man]

Masturbation can sometimes be wrong and it can sometimes not. If you masturbate thinking about [...] how you want a puppy, essentially that's not wrong.

ok I've edited it a bit, but that's surely the wrongest kind of masturbation. I think I'll stick to thinking about Holden Caulfield!!:laugh:

[Comrade B]

"How come humans aren't born as monkeys?"
Fucking golden.

[Killfacer]

The atheist world doesn't sound like such a bad place.

[ÑóẊîöʼn]

I First and main proof is bone breaking, if we are made for this planet there is no way we could break a bone when we fall on ice or snow, we should be able too jump higher, and not to hurt ankle. All sort od injuries we have just because gravity is too strong on this planet. There is nothing bad in feeling heavy, it is for the gravity too strong. Yes, also bone diseases and pain, spinal pain, discus hernia, that shouldn't happen if gravity is smaller.

It's funny how human bone and muscle wastes away in lower gravities then, isn't it?


II I bet all of you has this problem from time to time, just having to have one more hour a day, and everything would be just fine, I am sure Earth has been manipulated somehow to prolong duration of day, but it was impossible to make it longer, because all plants and animals here would suffer.The Earth used to spin faster, and evolution is still playing catch-up.


III If we look directly at the Sun we can damage eyes, that is not logical if we were adapted to this planet. Also UV rays making more damage to our eye system, in fact we all feel just right when sun is lower and during cloudy days, no kidding, all northern countries are more industrial developed. it is because of that reason, heat is good for reptilians only. (there was one movie with Charlie Sheen about that )Considering that the Sun occupies a tiny patch of the total sky, it's much simpler for us to have simply evolved not to stare straight at it (what would be the point anyway?). Mars gets even more UV exposure, enough to eventually kill a human in fact. This is because of the tenuous envelope around Mars tentatively called an "atmosphere" is much thinner than the Earth's. "Northern countries" are more industrially developed for geopolitical reasons.


IV If there wasn't strong XXstrong magnetic field Sun radiation would kill us, that couldn't happen if planet is on greater distance from Sun.. Like I said, Mars gets more radiation influx because of its paper-thin atmosphere. Even if the Earth's magnetic field to suddenly cease existing, our thick atmosphere would provide plenty of protection.


There is plenty of proof, reasons why is not logical that we live on this planet, more correct we are not from here, or partially our genes are not.You display a stunning ignorance of human evolution and history. I suggest you read up on such things before speaking again.

PS I know that gonzeau is quoting someone

[NecroCommie]

Human ignorance never fails to surprise me. Just when I thought: "They cant get much stupider than this..." ZWADAAM!!!! Up they come with a shitty weird theoy.

[Black_Flag]

I am 100% pro-life, unless we're talking about capital punishment, in which case I am 100% pro-death.

Think this just about borders on being hilariously funny and slightly worrying.

[Rosa Lichtenstein]

Noxion you are assuming that you are arguing with rational individuals here with these fundies. Nothing you can say will ever get past their concrete skulls. [A bit like dialecticians, then.]

[ÑóẊîöʼn]

Noxion you are assuming that you are arguing with rational individuals here with these fundies. Nothing you can say will ever get past their concrete skulls. [A bit like dialecticians, then.]

Does the term "Target Practice" have any meaning to you? :D

[Comrade B]

IV If there wasn't strong XXstrong magnetic field Sun radiation would kill us, that couldn't happen if planet is on greater distance from Sun..
if it wasn't for this, life would not start there, or life that started there would have to evolve to be unaffected by the radiation. It is no different from the fact that a naked human will not live as long in Antarctica as a penguin.

[bcbm]

It is no different from the fact that a naked human will not live as long in Antarctica as a penguin.

Speak for yourself.

[Angry Young Man]

You know, in the 18th Century, aristocrats would go to London dungeon to laugh at the looneys.

You see where I'm going with this...

[Pirate Utopian]

That we should all try and become aristocrats?
I dont know... they have some nasty jokes about aristocrats...

[Angry Young Man]

That there's really no point in laughing at the looneys. It's not going to raise their class consciousness or understand that science empirically tries to decode things previously unknown. Nothing is, so we may as well just forget about them until something important comes up, like the debate of teaching intelligent design in high school biology.

[gorillafuck]

Masturbation can sometimes be wrong and it can sometimes not. If you masturbate thinking about how pretty the flowers are and how you want a puppy, essentially that's not wrong. But most times, that is not the case. I believe that when one masturbates a high percentage of the time they are fantasizing about a sexual partner therefore making masturbation lust. Lust, as the Bible states, is a sin. But masturbation is something that people in general should stay away from because it's hard not to lust whilst doing it. Ben Jamin A Foote
I love masturbating while I think about how much I want a puppy.

[Comrade B]

That there's really no point in laughing at the looneys. It's not going to raise their class consciousness or understand that science empirically tries to decode things previously unknown. Nothing is, so we may as well just forget about them until something important comes up, like the debate of teaching intelligent design in high school biology.
These people are actually large in numbers though, and potentially quite dangerous. If they believe that something is a threat to their existence, they will fight back viciously. Check out the loonies bombing abortion clinics.

[Angry Young Man]

I said ignore them until we can't. I'm not blankly saying that we just shoo them out of sight, I was just saying that nothing really comes of pointing at them. Remember the video of the fundies in Oregon? It's like that.

We once had some fundy couple in Bath outside the college. The woman had a microphone thingy and she was shouting, which was some small disturbance to, of all classes, my philosophy lesson. So when the lesson ends, most of us go on the logic defensive, but there was this one guy (thick as a king edwards yoghurt) who was just said things like "omg you're captain Birdseye" and "can I try your hat?"