Please help

[Oktyabr]

My parents are catholics, and though we do not attend church often, I am reminded by my parents' behavior that my father was brought up in a catholic school, and my mother lived in an ethnically Polish neighborhood, thus entailing heavy influence of the church. I am highly anti-religious, being the Leftist I am, however, I am constantly dragged to church, including the (thankfully over) EDGE religious education cessions at the local church, only a short walk down from my house. I do not want to be a part of a community built by the rich, for the rich, and maintaned by the rich. My sympathies lie with the communist/anarchist cause, and I hate every minute spent listening to superstitious babble. I need help gettinng out of this.

[bellyscratch]

Sounds like a tough situation. Just want to know a couple of things... how old are you? and do your parents know your views on religion?

[LOLseph Stalin]

Couldn't you just refuse to go to church? I wouldn't know about these situations though as I was brought up in a non-religious family(thankfully).

[Plagueround]

I think you'll get more responses for this kind of thing in the religion forum, so I've moved it.

[Oktyabr]

Im 14 years old, and my parents know I'm anti-religious. I have refused in the past, but I'm concerned with offending them and creating a bad situation (they used to argue a lot, and as a result I'm sensitive of offending people so similar situations don't arise)

[LOLseph Stalin]

Im 14 years old, and my parents know I'm anti-religious. I have refused in the past, but I'm concerned with offending them and creating a bad situation (they used to argue a lot, and as a result I'm sensitive of offending people so similar situations don't arise)

Well personally I feel that if they already know you're Anti-Religious you can't make the situation much worse if you don't attend church.

[Post-Something]

There really isn't much you can do unless you feel you can actually sit down and discuss it with your parents. Maybe try asking them why they feel it's necessary?

I had the same problem, except with muslim parents, and they still don't know my actual views on religion.

[LOLseph Stalin]

I had the same problem, except with muslim parents, and they still don't know my actual views on religion.

My family does. Most of my family is Atheist/Anti-Theist except for a very, very small minority.

[bellyscratch]

Im 14 years old, and my parents know I'm anti-religious. I have refused in the past, but I'm concerned with offending them and creating a bad situation (they used to argue a lot, and as a result I'm sensitive of offending people so similar situations don't arise)

I think you should make it clear that you are not against them having their religious beliefs if thats what they truly think, but you are your own person and you have the right to believe what you want. Religion is a personal matter and shouldn't be forced on people

[Decolonize The Left]

I think you should make it clear that you are not against them having their religious beliefs if thats what they truly think, but you are your own person and you have the right to believe what you want.

This is absolutely the approach you ought to take, although I think you should improve your wording when discussing this with your parents - Make clear that you are certain that you do not wish to attend church, and that being forced to attend church against your will is painful and harsh.

- August

[Demogorgon]

Well you do say in the first post that you don't go that often, so it can't be that bad? At the end of the day it is up to you whether you want a big fight or not over it, but if you are not going every week, it might not be worth it. The biggest problem with going to church when you are not a believer isn't a religious or political problem, but simply the fact it was boring. I hated going to church when I was younger for that very reason (I went until I was around seventeen if I recall), but to put it in perspective, it didn't do any harm and I could just daydream through it. No worse than a boring class at school really.

So the question is, is it worth an argument with your parents or not? You will argue with your parents all the time anyway being the age you are (or at any rate you soon will), so whether you want another argument is up to you. If it won't be too bad an argument go ahead, if it will be more trouble that its worth just go to church. There are worse things than boredom. And also, as it is Catholic Church, one has to be fair and point out that you might learn something there. Catholicism isn't exactly intellectually weak.

[Oktyabr]

Well you do say in the first post that you don't go that often, so it can't be that bad? At the end of the day it is up to you whether you want a big fight or not over it, but if you are not going every week, it might not be worth it. The biggest problem with going to church when you are not a believer isn't a religious or political problem, but simply the fact it was boring. I hated going to church when I was younger for that very reason (I went until I was around seventeen if I recall), but to put it in perspective, it didn't do any harm and I could just daydream through it. No worse than a boring class at school really.

So the question is, is it worth an argument with your parents or not? You will argue with your parents all the time anyway being the age you are (or at any rate you soon will), so whether you want another argument is up to you. If it won't be too bad an argument go ahead, if it will be more trouble that its worth just go to church. There are worse things than boredom. And also, as it is Catholic Church, one has to be fair and point out that you might learn something there. Catholicism isn't exactly intellectually weak.

We do happen to go on certain occasions, like Easter, the EDGE meetings (the last one like I said, lasted 4 hours, and the normal ones are during the school week) And it is so painful to bear through it, just try it yourself. I have never gone to church and not felt like the 1 hour services lasted 3 hours.

[Demogorgon]

We do happen to go on certain occasions, like Easter, the EDGE meetings (the last one like I said, lasted 4 hours, and the normal ones are during the school week) And it is so painful to bear through it, just try it yourself. I have never gone to church and not felt like the 1 hour services lasted 3 hours.
Believe me when I say I am well acquainted with church, I was dragged along to Mass every week when I was your age, not to mention several religious education lessons a week when I was at school. I found it very boring, well the RE lessons were often interesting, but Mass itself was excruciating. But I made the mistake of letting it upset me, I wouldn't do that if I were you, it just makes it worse. You have to make a clear choice between either telling your parents you won't go any more or else going and daydreaming away during Mass.

I am not for a minute telling you that going to church isn't as boring as you say. Religion fascinates me and I read a great deal about it and I still find the services themselves dull as anything unless it is from a religion I haven't attended before. But sadly there are a lot of boring things in the world and you have to make the choice of whether to put up with them or not. To re-iterate, my advice is not to go if your parents won't make a fuss, but if they will give you a lot of hassle, just go. Boredom is better than a huge row.

[Comrade Anarchist]

i go through the same thing. As an anti-theist i cnt stand religious people and any of their crap but im 16 and under my moms control who is an ultra crazy christian so i am forced to go every week and i have no choice but to go.

[Dooga Aetrus Blackrazor]

If you don't want to go, you're entitled to do that. Why do children assume they have to ask their parents for something? I told my parents, at a young age, that "I don't want to go to Church anymore." They were reluctant, and I appealed to the fundamental human right to freedom of religion. Legally, could they have forced me? Maybe. Legally, I could have challenged the court ruling. I suspect I would've won.

I regularly told my parents I simply "wouldn't" do things. When really pushed, I threatened to stab myself at around 10 (I would avoid that, I had depression). Now, I simply tell people I won't do things. Period.

I'm a psychology anarchist. I want to do what "I want to do." I used to fight my parents over combing my hair. I'd say "I have a right to look how I want, I don't care what other people think, and they shouldn't think that way." I wasn't lazy. I did plenty of other self-care things that were important. I simply didn't like being judged based on whether my hair was messy or not.

Eventually, I said "sometimes people are stupid and I'll appease them." As long as I don't judge other people for the same thing, it's not "that" terrible. If I was an employer, I'd have to have clean shaven employees because of prejudices, etc, most likely. It's a vicious cycle.

What issues you feel are "too important" to give into are up to you. Given that religion is considered a "fundamental human right," I think it's safe to say most people (rightly or not) think it's pretty damn important. I'll fight for it simply because being forced to learn something that is false is utterly ridiculous. Being forced to do something that is pointless, to appease others, is equally annoying, but it doesn't necessitate the spreading of values. Churches use you on the membership list to give the illusion of democratic authority.

I was older and had a church picture taken. I agreed to it to be nice. Where you draw your line is up to you. If you want to fight to the death over someone making you not wear a hat in public, good for you. If my youthful spirit that valued justice hadn't been squashed by the system, I'd be a better person. If everyone actually held justice in such high esteem, the world would be a much better place. We're all lazy though, so the decision is ultimately up to you.

Just don't accept that you "have" to do anything. Until they physically move you "and" prevent your ability to kill yourself, you have control. When the government puts anti-suicide devices on all its citizens, then I will be scared.

[Lacrimi de Chiciură]

You should keep going to church but say that you consider yourself a prophet of god and then redefine god in a pantheistic sense, but then assert that culturally this god should be personified as Durga because that's just the most fun way to personify god.

[Stranger Than Paradise]

Jesus. I feel sorry for all you guys who are forced to go to church. Must be a nightmare.

[Pawn Power]

Politely tell your parents that you respect their choice of faith and that is there personal decision to make but that you want to make your own choices and that your faith, or lack there of, rest out side of the church or outside of religion.

If that doesn't work tell them that they can't make you 'believe' anything and fuck off.

[PCommie]

Just be like "Fuck that, comrade. I ain't goin' to no fire-and-brimstone rally to hear some two-bit old geezer in a white robe blab and drool over some holy altar and tell me to not look at any girls, think about violence, or tell you two *****es to fuck off my life. Goodbye, I have some Marx to catch up on."

Lol. Seriously, though, the advice presented here (in this thread, not my post ;)) is what I'd go for. If it's worth the argument, do it, if not, daydream. Daydream about anti-biblical stuff, just for fun. ;)

H&S forever,
-PC

[cb9's_unity]

IMO its not something to get into a big fight with your parents about. My parents really don't approve all that much of my communist beliefs so I've simply stopped talking to them about it or I just don't lay out my radical positions. Their both good people and they've done so much for me its just not worth the battle.

If I was in your situation i might give another polite shot at not going to church but if that doesn't work just go and gain ammunition. The great thing about religious people is that they don't have a clue about what their talking about, if you have to listen to a sermon make a mental note of its contradictions. It never hurts to quote the bible when in a debate about religion. The document pretty much disproves itself.

Make you life easy and don't go to war with your parents but make the best of it in a revolutionary way.

[PCommie]

Right, cb9's unity. Most Christians haven't even read the damned Bible, so they take the word of the church; that is its power. Disprove the Bible using the Bible, and you will win.

-PC

[Decolonize The Left]

Right, cb9's unity. Most Christians haven't even read the damned Bible, so they take the word of the church; that is its power. Disprove the Bible using the Bible, and you will win.

-PC

Well... the Bible basically disproves itself. See (http://skepticsannotatedbible.com/contra/by_name.html)?

- August