Jack
21st April 2009, 02:41
My application for the University of Connecticut (a teacher will be helping me correct mistakes etc), it's funny as hell.
Thoughts, opinions?
Why am I a unique individual and how can I improve the University of Connecticut? It’s quite simple actually, I’m awesome. I’m possibly the most amazing person to send the university an application, and I think it’s about time it was noticed. I walk into a room and my peers stand in awe in my presence. I’m what every lady wants, and who every guy wants to be.
When I attend protests against the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan as a part of my anti-war student group, Youth Peace, I turn public opinion against the war. Normally apolitical people see me opposing the war and think “Wow, that guy is awesome, if he is against war then he must be right”. I’ve read from Marx to Mises, Luxemburg to Locke, and Proudhon to Peikoff, and I’ve spent more time philosophizing then all of them combined (when I’m not saving babies and wooing ladies).
Apart from name-dropping, one of my favorite activities is the study of history. I can tell you all about the early 20th century labor movement, and nothing about what I had for dinner last night. Though an hour long lecture on the Spanish Civil War would be boring to most, when I do it my obvious animal magnitude keeps people interested; my attractive qualities combined with my smooth, suave voice make delivering all the things I know about history oh so much more interesting for those listening.
Though I am sure you have already accepted my application when you read my name (my reputation precedes me, I hear), this essay should help tilt the scales even more in my favor. I have explained to you how I am awesome, and honestly that should be sufficient for my acceptance to your fine institution. I am an avid student of politics, history, and philosophy, and would like the chance to become a student of the University of Connecticut.
Thoughts, opinions?
Why am I a unique individual and how can I improve the University of Connecticut? It’s quite simple actually, I’m awesome. I’m possibly the most amazing person to send the university an application, and I think it’s about time it was noticed. I walk into a room and my peers stand in awe in my presence. I’m what every lady wants, and who every guy wants to be.
When I attend protests against the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan as a part of my anti-war student group, Youth Peace, I turn public opinion against the war. Normally apolitical people see me opposing the war and think “Wow, that guy is awesome, if he is against war then he must be right”. I’ve read from Marx to Mises, Luxemburg to Locke, and Proudhon to Peikoff, and I’ve spent more time philosophizing then all of them combined (when I’m not saving babies and wooing ladies).
Apart from name-dropping, one of my favorite activities is the study of history. I can tell you all about the early 20th century labor movement, and nothing about what I had for dinner last night. Though an hour long lecture on the Spanish Civil War would be boring to most, when I do it my obvious animal magnitude keeps people interested; my attractive qualities combined with my smooth, suave voice make delivering all the things I know about history oh so much more interesting for those listening.
Though I am sure you have already accepted my application when you read my name (my reputation precedes me, I hear), this essay should help tilt the scales even more in my favor. I have explained to you how I am awesome, and honestly that should be sufficient for my acceptance to your fine institution. I am an avid student of politics, history, and philosophy, and would like the chance to become a student of the University of Connecticut.